Rochester Senior AdvisorHow do I know I am burning out as a caregiver?
Burnout shows up as constant exhaustion, poor sleep, anger or tearfulness, health problems of your own that you are putting off, withdrawal from friends and a sense that nothing you do is enough.
It is common, not a failure. Spouses caring for a partner with dementia are especially at risk, often without realizing how much their own health has slipped.
Where can Rochester caregivers get support?
Lifespan of Greater Rochester's Caregiver Resource Center at (585) 244-8400 offers training, the Powerful Tools for Caregivers workshop and help finding respite, and the Monroe County Office for the Aging at (585) 753-6280 funds caregiver and social adult day services.
In the other four counties, the Office for the Aging runs caregiver programs: Ontario (585) 396-4040, Wayne (315) 946-5624, Livingston (585) 243-7520 and Orleans (585) 589-3191.
What is respite care, and how do we get it?
Respite is short-term care that gives the family caregiver a break: a few hours of home care, a day at an adult day program, or a short stay of days or weeks in an assisted living residence or nursing home.
Many Rochester-area residences take short respite stays when they have an empty apartment. Hospice patients' families can use Medicare's inpatient respite benefit of up to five days.
Can a family member be paid for caregiving in New York?
Yes; through the Consumer Directed Personal Assistance Program (CDPAP), a Medicaid recipient can hire a family member other than a spouse as a personal assistant, paid through the statewide fiscal intermediary, PPL.
Veterans may have options too: the VA's caregiver programs and Aid and Attendance pension can help a family pay for care.
When is it time to consider a move?
It is time to consider a move when the caregiver's health is suffering, when care is needed around the clock, or when the person being cared for is no longer safe even with the help the family can arrange.
Moving a parent or spouse is not giving up on them. Families often find they can return to being a daughter, son or partner once the hands-on care is shared with trained staff.
What if the caregiver is a spouse who will not accept help?
Start small and frame help as support for the caregiver's own health: a few hours of respite, a doctor's appointment for the caregiver, or a support group, and involve the couple's doctor or clergy if needed.
Spouses often accept help for the other person more readily than for themselves.
At a glance
| Help that adds hours | Help that adds rest | |
|---|---|---|
| At home | Home care aides, CDPAP | A friend who simply visits |
| Away | Adult day programs | Respite stays in a residence |
| Planning | A care manager or NY Connects | A support group at Lifespan |
Sources include the N.Y. Social Services Law and Public Health Law, 18 NYCRR Parts 487-494, 10 NYCRR Parts 415 and 1001, Department of Health GIS messages, CMS, the VA and CareScout, as cited above; see our editorial standards.
